To be honest there's a lot of things about LJ that kinda bug me. So I went exploring and found I like Blogspot/Blogger more. That said I still use my LJ mostly to keep up with the Loli world and stuff like that. I just don't post as often, but I think I'll try and update at least once a month just because it feels weird posting on comm and stuff and not posting here. My new blog is a little silly, I guess you could say it's for all my interests. Nothing of too much substance to be there.

If you are curious my new blog-type-thing or internet home is http://lostithenniel.blogspot.com/

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I am really having a lot of fun with PoupeeGirl, it's my kinda site!

I'm trying this Google Chrome thing, I don't know how it ended up on my comp but I feel I should try it.

PT and all that is what it is. The cortisone shot was another failure, actually I keep meaning to call my doc and get the plan on what to do next. Maybe making a to-do list would be beneficial.

Umm...I really had a boring day I went to school, studied, and relaxed. I still have more studying to do and should really eat dinner, it's 8:40. So, I'm off to go do that!

This is so the story of my life. The day after getting surgery I find out that the MRI and x-ray of my right shoulder did not come back normal. My rotator cuff is not torn, but I have some tendon thing I'd never even heard of. So I have to go back to ortho. This is the day after surgery! Who knows what this means. *eye roll*

Surgery was the neurostimulator implant. My back is sore, but elsewise I'm doing well. Of course my arm is doing well with the stim. I can't help but notice now just how WEAK it is. It's still kinda useless coz of that. The limitations with the surgery are kind of annoying, but I think I get the staples out on Monday. So hopefully at the very least I'll be allowed to shower? Sponge baths are awful. haha I am this vain sometimes.

I bought a lolita skirt (BtSSB) whee! So excited! I've wanted to start wearing lolita since I discovered it (along with BJDs) like 3-4 yrs ago. Haha I've been shopping recently. Which means another pair of Uggs too. Oh and I bought a new camera to replace mine which was falling apart after I accidently dropped it. My new one is pink! My parents were also kind enough to buy me an Ipod touch. My fav gift from them though was the flowers they got me the day after my surgery, they're lovely.

I've passed all my summer classes with an A in each, which makes me super happy. Lots of hard work went into those, especially communication second summer session.

I'm considering selling Giselle (Volks F34) and her wardrobe (since she's the only one that fits the clothes) I'm really uncertain though so I'll see how things pan out.

Well, back to watching HPatSS.

Back to being one-armed, pain-stricken, and useless...
SCS implant surgery Aug. 19th...
Typing one-handed is tedius, so bye I guess...

I can't believe how well the SCS seems to be working. I think I shall miss it after I get it taken out on Monday. Everytime I turn it off, the pain comes back, reminding me that I still have RSD. I have to admit though I really miss taking a shower...I've taken like sponge bath type things. SO not the same, don't listen to anyone that says it's not that different. It totally does not leave you feeling truly clean. Ok done being irritated.

My hip is sooo sore today, must be from taking a somewhat lengthy walk yesterday. So between that and my back I've been spending my day hovering from one soft spot to the next and resting. At least my arm doesn't hurt that much! I can't think of anything else to say.

I got the trial Spinal Cord Stimulator implanted yesterday! It helps my arm soooo much! My back is really sore though from where they injected the needles. Apparently that's from all the numbing medicine that goes in. It was done with anesthesia, knocking me out for the first part. Then they woke me up to set the thing up. Apparently (no recollection) I told them I liked it on the operating table.

With it on my pain goes from like 8-9 to 2-3. The pain from my back is kinda taking away all the good a bit *_*

I have fallen in love with Agatha Christie books, I am captivated by her style of writing. I especially seem to like the character of Poirot. Death on the Nile was brilliant, I even watched the movie (on YouTube) after I finished it. It was soooo good, although I have always had an odd fascination with Egypt. Especially those that travelled there in the early 1900s.

I read The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston for World Literature, but ended up really enjoying it. I would actually recomend it. It is a memoir, but still a good read as it is mostly stories from her childhood or ones she was told. If you like Amy Tan you will probably really enjoy this.

I am currently reading and loving Shanghai Girls by Lisa See. I haven't finished it yet, but so far it is really good. An interesting read about Shanghai and coming to America from China when it was being attacked by the Japanese. It is very well written.

Movies:

I am in love with Much Ado About Nothing, we watched in World Lit. and I just fell in love with the story, the characters, the actors, the whole thing! However, you must like and understand Shakespeare in order to watch this movie :) It's the one with Emma Thompson and Kenneth Brahms (spell? Is that even correct?).

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day has to be one of the cutest, most up-lifting movies I've seen in a long long time. I would recommend this highly! An adorable movie taking place in Brittain at the start of WWII. The characters are wonderful, the plot is fabulous, and the dialogue is so clever.

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I'm currently sitting on my deck at our cottage in the covered area while it rains around me. Kinda cool actually, like being in the rain without getting wet :)

Well I'm off for now!

I haven't been to my LJ in ages! So much has been happening I guess.
I'm going to list some updates coz it's easier:

• I'm taking two summer classes right now and am loving them both.
• I've 'dumped' the rheumatologist after she completely ticked me off on Wed. (she didn't listen to me and tried to pass off my pain as a result of depression and anxiety. My anxiety is the most under control it's ever been and I've never been depressed...I feel down sometimes, but that is brief and natural, usually I'm still really happy).
• I'm still in ALOT of pain, so...
• I'm considering getting a Spinal Cord Stimulator.
• I want a Pukifee Bonnie lol
• I have an amazing friend who gave my Puki Adella (PukiPuki Flora) a room complete with furniture and accesories!
• It's official I have RSD in my Left leg/foot and upper right leg.
• My back doesn't hurt anymore!!! After all these years turns out all I needed was a little PT.
• I've changed and increased meds.
• My mother's recovering from her surgery very well.

My Grandma passed away, I named Anita after her. She was an amazing woman and I miss her greatly.

I had my first Stellate Ganglion nerve block yesterday. It was...er...interesting. I was left in a private waiting with a TV with my mum for a 1/2 hr, we watched HGTV (one of my fav channels). Then the my dr came in to see how I was doing, have me sign a consent form, and mark my neck. A while later a very friendly nurse came to bring me to the operating room. The procedure is a needle in the throat that goes and touches a notch on one of the bones in your neck/spine. It took all of maybe 1 min. Afterwards I was taken out on a wheel chair to sit around for 1/2hr. They took my blood pressure and monitered my heartrate while I ate the snack and water they gave me. The side effects were a droopy eye, well the whole left side of my face was drooped actually so I looked totally stoned on one half of my face. I had a hard time walking at first lol it was wierd. My eye didn't go back to normal all night, but is fine now. Unfortunately I got absolutely no pain relief, I'm so disappointed :( and my neck is still a bit sore (after the anthesia wore off it hurt! That was hrs later though).

So currently I am flaring BIG time and as such am feeling a bit down. At this point I'm also pretty positive RSD is what's wrong with my hips, since they are sooo painful, but are perfect from a diagnostic standpoint. Plus the pain is a kinda similar. We're headed to Canada tomorrow and I'm worried what flying will do...I have PT in the morning too.

I won't be able to go to Dolpa this year and I was so looking forward to it too.
I wish I could tell Volks how much my dolls mean to me and have meant to me over the last year and a half. Posing and photographing them, dressing them up, it always makes me smile. Somehow they've remained a constant comfort through it all. When I feel down and I'm flaring like crazy I try to play with them a bit to cheer me up. Usually this means changing their outfits (not always, some days even that is to painful) and posing them somewhere new in my room. Recently I've been keeping Anita on one of the shelves since she, as my first doll and sweet 16 gift, sometimes reminds me what I was like before RSD. It's officially been 3 years since I got her! I still remember how excited I was when she arrived. My dad and his assistant went to the store in LA to order her for me. My dad, Mr. Anti-doll! I will always be thankful that he did that for me (they were there for 2 hrs). She is also named after my paternal grandmother, whom I love dearly and greatly respect. 

My Mum is making me go back to the Orthopedist, she wants to ask about alternative surgeries! What the heck?! I don't really want surgery. Although, if it got rid of the excruciating snapping, I'd be pretty thrilled! So ya both hips are extremely bad right now.

On monday I'm going to see the Pain Doctor, the one that does nerve blocks and the like. A bit nervous, but mostly hoping for some relief from the pain.

Looks like I'm finally at my last month of PT, doesn't seem real. Unfortunately it's not coz I'm better, it's coz we've done all we can. I still can't rais my arm all the way, so I dunno how I feel. A bit annoyed I guess.

Well, here's to hoping for less pain and a fix for my hips!

Heehee today is my B-day! I'm 19 now!

No big plans though school, PT, house to me and my cat (family headed up to the cottage a day early). I'm kinda surprised it's very peaceful and relaxing. Currently resting and drinking an herbal tea (Mighty Leaf, Ginger Twist). It's good and soothing, but I sweeten it with honey since I need my hot drinks to be at least a little sweet! Meggie is sitting next to me too, purring away.

I maintain a pretty cheerful attitude, apparently to the point people aren't even sure I'm in as much pain as I say. Yet, this past week has been the hardest week I've had in a while. I've spent the majority of the week on my bed thanks to my hip(s) and back causing me so much pain. I feel a little out of it too thanks to the pain. Argh!

Anyway I saw the NJSO today and it was an AMAZING performance! Absolutely amazing. The first song "Serenade to Music" by Williams was so beautiful I was practically in tears. I've never been so emotionally moved by a song it was just beautiful. I would love to have it on my iPod, but apparently I have to buy a whole album in order to get it.

I'm limping! I don't believe this! I have never been so completely ticked off with my body before. I go for one walk and return home limping with a hip that won't support me properly. What the heck!? Anyways, I'm extremely hopeful this painful limp will be gone by monday, or else school is going to be v. harsh.

I leave tomorrow. I'm currently at my Aunt and Uncle's house (Mum's sister). I arrived on Monday and stayed with my Dad's brother and family. I was able to see my Grandmother a couple times, and who knows there may not be many visits left. On Tuesday we went to the ROM which was a lot of fun!!! I had never been before and I LOVE museums. It was really, really busy though because it's March break up here. Then Wednesday morning we went out to lunch with my Aunt's family before they dropped me off at my Mum's sister's house. Today I went with my Aunt to her interior designers office and out to lunch. Since then I've been relaxing with my 3yr old cousins. It's been a good week and an excellent break. I still have the weekend to relax at home and then back to the daily routine, school and 7 appts.!

I'm thinking about ketamine treatments and nerve blocks and all that now...still scared stiff of it, but if it helps...I just don't know!! I think I'll talk to my primary doctor and then maybe my neuro. Maybe even go see the Pain Management specialist and see what he thinks and what he would plan to do. It's tough decision and I don't feel qualified to make these decisions! I'm 18 and to be in this much pain and making these decisions and going to all these appts, I feel like I should be older!

I'm going to Canada tomorrow. I'm looking forward to see everyone, despite the bad reason for going. I'm making sure to take my pills and am going to wear a lidocaine (sp?) patch and my splint tomorrow. Fingers crossed this will keep it from feeling like my hand is going to EXPLODE! Haha

I got a pair of cupcake Converse this weekend! They are sooo cute!

Write soon...maybe...

A week of midterms that is!! And that means it's Spring Break! I leave for Canada on Monday. Augh nothing like exams to wear a girl out.

My TENS unit came in and I've been using it, it's very helpful for pain...especially with how much I've been dealing with recently. I need Spring for my body's sake! This cold weather is torture!

On a totally unrelated note I really want some cute Lolita style clothes to mix in with other everyday clothes to make some fun and cute outfits. Ah but I can only dream unless I come into a load of money ;). Haha.

My Mum is really sick right now (with a cold/flu thing). I absolutely cannot get it! I have midterms and appts that I must go to this week. Plus I'm going to Canada on Monday! Grrr....

I sat up yesterday at PT and almost passed out. It was pretty awful, I also thought I was gonna be sick. I ended being ok and driving myself home.

Off to take some more Cold FX!

Just waiting for Psych to begin. I leave for Canada tomorrow to visit my Grandma who has Stage 4 cancer. I think it will be a pretty good visit, she's looking forward to seeing us. She's still at home and gets radiation for pain. Other than that there isn't anything they can do.

I'm getting a TENs unit for home! I'm excited because it really helps with pain...like a lot! I'm doing well with the Pain Management and actually really like some of the stuff. It's more of a biofeedback type approach to pain, instead of my alternative (injections). It's things like self-hypnosis. Of course I still do PT and OT coz I really wouldn't go anywhere without it.

I love Puki Madeleine!! She's soooo cute! I want her face for the mermaid body.

New pictures of Marie and Iulia on DoA:

Marie - http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=277179

Iulia - http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=277351



It was so nice to have some time off and sun. My pain levels have been quite high this past week. But I'm feeling a tiny bit better today. Fibromyalgia and RSD twin demons haha! I seriously thought Fibromyalgia only affected older people...I was wrong!

Well back to HW!

Wishing everyone a Happy Holidays!

~Andrea